In short, this episode of This American Life tells the story of two girls who were unknowingly switched at birth and the implications it had on their families when the mother of one of the daughters finally admitted to knowing about it 43 years later. Mary Miller and Kay McDonald gave birth to their daughters at the same hospital on the same day; Mary Miller ended up taking home Kay McDonald's biological daughter, Marti, and Kay McDonald took home the Millers' biological daughter, Sue. Once they got home, Mary Miller noticed something was a little off and told her husband that they had the wrong baby, but her husband, unconvinced and not wanting to offend their doctor, told her that it didn't matter and to forget about it. So she kept quiet for 43 years.
This story gives great evidence for how important "nature" is versus "nurture." Marti, biologically the McDonalds' daughter, was always outgoing and popular unlike her less attractive and more serious Miller family members while Sue was always a bit introverted and more serious compared to the fun-loving McDonalds. Despite the girls' upbringing in different households, they displayed similar personality traits to their biological families. This begs the question as to how significant of a factor nurture actually is. Disregarding extreme influences, like being brought up by violent drug addicts or by a series of neglecting foster parents, how much does one's raising effect their personality? This story would suggest that it plays a very insignificant role. Once the switch is out in the open and the sisters start talking to their biological siblings, they immediately click more than they ever did with their non-biological siblings. It is rather bizarre to consider that much of our personalities are pre-determined by the chemical coding in our bodies, not necessarily by our upbringing.
Branching off of this point, I'd like to bring up the possibly taboo subject of how unattractive people are treated versus how attractive people are treated and their corresponding reactions. Throughout the duration of this episode, one gets the impression that Marti and the McDonalds are rather significantly more attractive than Sue and the Millers. It just so happens that the McDonalds are also significantly more light-hearted and outgoing than the odd, serious, and strict Millers. Do you think there is any correlation? In general, it seems that more attractive people are in fact more popular. Perhaps because people are already more prone to like them on a first impression, they have fewer insecurities throughout their development, leading to more confidence and charisma than otherwise. Furthermore, it is not too often one sees a very attractive person who isn't relatively popular and well-liked. There is clearly some correlation between attractiveness and popularity even if it's uncomfortable to admit. But how about attractiveness and let's say...relative "oddness"? Perhaps if people are less likely to talk to you due to your looks, you develop less socially?
Another point that sharply and rather uncomfortably stands out is that Mary Miller seems to be quite an interesting character. Before listening to the last third of the podcast, I thought she was utterly insane. Why on earth didn't she do something to change the fact that she brought the wrong baby home? Why decide to turn everyone's life upside-down 43 years later? Even after hearing the explanation in the third part that her husband was apparently controlling and did not allow her to make a fuss until he himself saw Sue's family resemblance 43 years later, I do not forgive her for her decision. Or at least I still don't like her - maybe that's it. She had a cold, factual way of breaking the news to the daughter she raised, Marti, that made Marti feel like she was trying to push her out of the family. She even wrote to Marti using the last name "McDonald." At the same time, Mary and the rest of the family eagerly invited Sue into their lives because they had known for a long time that she was their real daughter (it turns out even the other Miller kids figured Marti wasn't really their sister). How could they just shove aside Marti like that? After all they did raise her; she's theirs. I wouldn't think that biology alone would give someone such a claim to another person they've never met. And for being the wife of an evangelical preacher, she doesn't seem like a particularly good Christian. She kept someone else's baby knowing it wasn't hers, claiming that it was "God's will," she selfishly contorted the lives of two families by breaking the news 43 years later (as soon as her husband would let her) simply to get the burden off her chest without thought to the negative repercussions on others, and she vainly and cruelly told Marti that she never expected much from her because she wasn't actually theirs. Yeah, I guess you could say I just don't like her. But putting all of that judgment aside, what would you have done in her situation? No, I can't even take that question seriously. I think any sane person would have known to go to the doctor and express the concern that they gave her the wrong baby.
But at least it made for an interesting story.
This blog is based on an episode of This American Life: http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/360/Switched-At-Birth
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