Renee Engeln sees the increasingly concerning epidemic of "beauty sickness" everywhere, particularly among the young women she teaches. These girls have been so indoctrinated by society that physical appearance is the most important asset they can have that their desire for beauty overshadows any of their other concerns. Engeln discusses this problem and offers solutions.
When Renee Engeln approached her graduate advisor and voiced that she would like to do some research on how media images of the "ideal" female figure might be affecting women, her advisor's response was, "Don't bother; smart women know better than to listen to the media." I was shocked at this response. Smart women know better than to look at an unnaturally beautiful model and desire to look like that? I found that more than mildly insulting since I have a nearly palpable sense of shame and longing when I see pictures of gorgeous women. It doesn't matter that I know this appearance is incredibly rare. I still want to look like that. How does that make me unintelligent? Insecure perhaps, but not unintelligent. Society and social media have conditioned women to be concerned about their appearance. Unfortunately, the focus is less on how to be healthier and more beautiful (i.e. exercising) and more on the message that you are not; these other women are. Engeln notes that society sends three very clear messages to women:
1. beautiful is the most important thing a woman can be
2. this (these pictures of models) is what you should look like
3. you do not look like this
These are such unhealthy messages to be sending to people. The only possible outcomes are defeat and depression. Society dangles an unattainable idea of "beautiful" far far over our heads. And it is not only the gullible women who feel a desire to look like these impossibly beautiful models.
Where did this idea of beauty come from? Decades ago, the most beautiful women were curvaceous. Now, the most iconic pictures of a desirable figure are those of the borderline anorexic Victoria Secret Angels. Is this due to the significant increase in weight and obesity? The heavier the common person is, the more desirable it is to be thinner? And why are women sooo much more concerned with their appearances that men? Why don't men have this incredible social pressure to be perfect? Is it because women simply tend to be more insecure and are therefore easier victims for advertising? But what came first then, insecurity or this pressure to be impossibly beautiful?
Engeln makes the point of just how much the idea of a woman's appearance consumes her thoughts. She performs an almost comical rendition of the constant string of thoughts passing through a woman's head (How does my hair look? Do I have skinny-arm? Is this shirt giving me a muffin top? etc.), but the funniest (or perhaps most disconcerting) thing about it is that it's completely accurate. Women, or at least the majority, particularly of young women, are hyper-sensitive about their appearance. And Engeln argues that if you are so busy concerning yourself with yourself, you aren't open to exploring the world around you. We should spend less time worrying about how we look and more time looking around us. After all, we absolutely care more about how we look than anyone else cares about how we look. We are the harshest critics of ourselves.
So then Engeln offers a few solutions. I thought her most interesting one was to stop ourselves from telling little girls they are pretty and instead complimenting them on another asset, like intelligence or kindness. We teach girls the exaggerated importance of appearance at such a young age, and we should make an effort to reverse this trend. However, this strategy would only work if everyone adhered to it - because right now, the girls who aren't being told they're pretty and only hear other girls being called that can only assume that they are not. Before we can even think of employing this new strategy, we need to convince adult women that appearance is not everything. After all, they are among those conveying this message to their daughters.
One final point of Engeln's I'd like to highlight is to view your body as the one whole, capable object that it is rather than picking it apart. Instead of saying your arms are too fat and your thighs are too wide, focus on the things this incredible vehicle is allowing you to do. Whenever I start getting down about myself, my mom reminds me to be thankful for the body I have rather than criticizing these insignificant details.
Every woman could do with some body confidence.
This blog is based on a TEDx Talk by Renee Engeln: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63XsokRPV_Y
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